(Note: this post mentions the loss of a child.)
Ugh, November. Has anyone else struggled through this month? The longer, darker days, the absence of snow, and the lack of sunlight always make it feel heavier. But for me, November carries its own unique weight: it’s a month tied to loss, reflection, and—unexpectedly—gifts.
On November 6, 1996, my daughter Jessica was born, and it’s also the day she passed. We knew she wouldn’t survive the birth. For weeks before, I carried the knowledge that I would lose her, yet I chose to let the process unfold naturally. I wanted every extra moment with her—the kicks, the movements, the quiet connection I knew would be all we would share. Those days and weeks after her birth were among the hardest of my life. My oldest son, who had been born 11 months earlier, pulled me through. Every day, I kept moving forward—for him.
That loss changed me in ways I didn’t fully understand at the time. It gave me a new lens on life—a perspective that has shaped everything from parenting to leadership. When my kids were young, on those hard parenting days we all experience, I would ground myself in gratitude. I’d think: You’re so lucky to have them. Don’t forget that. Loss brought gentleness into my parenting, and looking back now, I see it also influenced how I lead.
Loss is a “funny” thing. It can bring the darkest of moments, but it can also highlight a path toward greater light and clarity.
Several years ago, I experienced a different kind of loss—this time, at work. While not the same, it carried the same stages of grief that I experienced with Jessica. I knew it was coming. I tried to hold on. But deep down, I knew it was inevitable. While I didn’t lose my job, I lost a piece of my identity – a piece that, at the time, I thought I wanted. Because of lessons from Jessica’s loss, it didn’t take me long to reset, rebound and gain the perspective I needed—that the loss would eventually guide me toward something different, something brighter.
The work I am privileged to do today with LBC is a culmination of all my experiences—the many good ones and the few not-so-good ones. Each experience, including the losses, has shaped my approach to leadership, emphasizing the importance of human connection, resilience, and courage. These lessons influence every conversation, every project, and every decision. Loss has taught me the value of leading with strength and compassion, communicating with purpose, and responding to change with adaptability and clarity. It has also reinforced the critical balance between performance and people, ensuring we achieve results without losing sight of the humans—and their very human experiences—who make them possible. These principles guide not just me, but my colleagues as well, as we bring this perspective to the organizations we work with every day.
When Jessica passed, my sister gave me an angel to represent Jessica. For nearly three decades she has sat on my bedside table and been a quiet reminder of resilience, love, and the light that follows even the darkest storms.
If you’re reading this and navigating a loss—whether personal or professional—I hope you’ll hold on to this: the path forward may hold gifts you can’t yet see. Loss will shape you, but it doesn’t have to define you. It can guide you toward light, clarity, and perhaps even new purpose.
And if you need an angel today, Jessica’s here for you. She’s pretty darn great ❤️.
